Tuesday April 6th, 1999

9:00am WAKING UP AND GETTING READY

Getting up at the crack of dawn is, under normal circumstances, suicidal to people of our age group. Bodily rhythms and functions have a difficult time starting 6-8 hours before they are naturally supposed to. However, we are risking chemical imbalance, vertigo, nausea, and of course Dave's car, to get on the road as quickly as possible. We are departing from Wheaton, Illinois, 30 miles west of downtown, home of Frank and Sharon Dugan who have graciously let us stay here overnight to allow us an early start.

After wakeing at the respectable hour of 9:30am (about four hours later than we planned), we attack our latest problem... the infamous 'stuck wiper blade'. Dave sprung into action like a 60 year old Grandpa on Viagra and soon 'Lady Luck' was ready to take us for a ride!

Finnally 6 hours behind schedule, hungary and tired, we make like a fetus and head out. Realizing how late we are, we frantically make just a few more stops to the neighborhood ATM, Whole Foods, where Dave buys his tofu pops as Mike follows in amamzement at the Whole Foods experience, where he is imediatly converted into a health food nut.

From there we were off to Burger King where CJ dives in to a equally healty dining experience as Dave pays the bill. Just because we could, we thought we would stop at the gas station across the street to ask for directions even though we knew exactly where we were going.

Michael takes time to help out a old man with the lighting of his cigarette near the gas pumps. "What a nice young man!", he tells me. I'm sure Michael's parents would rather he be a soldier of another cause. Oh well, we help out when we can. "He could have asked me to knock the place off instead!" Mike said jokingly. C.J. didn't find this amusing.

At 1:32PM, we pay our second toll of $.25! This is going to be a huge factor in our budget. 1:39PM: "Dude! They raised the toll to $.50!", Dave exclaimes. Our animosity grows towards the Illinois State. When we get back, we need to start some sort of organization to fight for the abolishment of cash cows like the Tollway.

It's a good thing the Alien Cam is watching! This state of the art peice of equipment shares the fourth seat in the car with M.F. the Alien. M.F. has rigged this camera to record one second of action every thirty seconds of the trip. We figured this way people could enjoy our cross country trip in only a fraction of the time that we did. See if you can spot where we climb out of the car and onto the hood doing 75mph! The tape will be avalable for a minimal fee of 29.99$+S&H. Just another example of the amazing technology we here at the Roswell Expedition have at our disposal.

After driving for a whoping hour and a half we decided to make a pit stop. We enjoyed the gazes we drew from onlookers as we unleashed our antics into the parking lot by conducting screwball interviews with our detached alien cam. It was a fun break, but we noticed that we were being followed by a dark Suburban we thought it was time to leave.

Chillin', Clownin', & Splifin'. Ahhh... life is good!

This is the Des Plaines River. We crossed this right before we stoped at our first upload point.

It's 2:57: We stoped at a Holiday Inn in Joliet to upload some data. Let's hope they let us. If they don't you'll know how cruel this world can be to weary travelers!

Here's what we do know. The people of Joliet don't like us. We not only asked The Holiday Inn, but a car dealership. They gave us a nice big, "Can I get a F**k You!". So in the spirit of good consumer reporting we've included these images below of the hotel that found no room in the inn.

Sensing that Illinois wasn't taking to our plan of hourly updates, we looked foreward to the embrace of a new state. We couldn't possibly have asked for a better welcome than the one St. Louis gave us as the sun began to set. Wiping the tears from our eyes we decided that stopping at this monument was unavoidable. Besides, I had to pee.

Murphy Strikes -

There comes a time in ones life that they do somthing so stupid that it defies the imigination. Such was the case when, I, C.J. Dugan became the trips honerary dumba**, dufus, moron, idiot, etc, you get the picture I was really dumb. As we sat in the car discussing the campsite we had hoped to find once we reached Rowswell, Dave casually asked if I brought the tent. In that moment I went through a state of shock that was compounded by the fact that not only did I forget our tent, but my sleeping bag and every other camping necessity that I said I would bring.

Dave and Michael were not pleased and did thier best to display thier feelings without physically throwing me out of the car. We are now well into our drive and ill-equiped to camp. "Winging it" has taken on a new meaning. In some bizzar way this mishap will make our trip that much more adventerous. With a full two nights to sleep, improveisation will be a key in getting a little shut eye.

Tempers flared as our inability to update the site mixes with Dugan's latest foul up. Even M.F. The Alien looses his temper as C.J. bears the brunt of his aggression. Sometimes M.F. forgets he is made of plastic and is filed with air because his attacks rarely last very long.

Resigning to the fact that a Tuesday update was not going to happen, C.J. decded to drown his sorrows in fast food. Exiting on a perfectly annonoumous ramp into Rolla, Mossourri, a sea of grease and chlosterol. It was decided that Kentucky fried Chicken would be a good choice. Close to closing time, there was only one customer in the restuarant. Spotting a phone sitting directly near the register, Mike wasted no time in pitching his plea to use the phone.

As if a giant weight was lifted from our backs, he aggreed to let us perform our update! Thanks to K-lid, Shannon, and Matt who put up with our geeky selves and our insistance that they be included on our web site!!!

As we drove on the trip clock rolled over to Wednesday, so you know where to find us.