A simple child born in a balsa wood cabin, David spent the majority of his life holding down the household...literally. As a result of this he possesses the world record for the only child in the nation whose sole intention of existing is to be a birthed paperweight. He later became the recipient of the 24 Year-old Italian Vegan Epileptic Stop-motion Animaton Sculpting Filmmaking Actor Awards, or the 24Yoivesasfa's. Shortly after the awards, David went into hiding for a couple of days and emerged with a recreated sense of self and new haircut. Today David resides with his parents until the threats to kick him out of the house cease. To this mission, David acts as the documentarian, photographer, resident artist and the guy who has the car.

special skills: ability to fall asleep anywhere, anytime

weakness: tinkering

ambitions: to fix the world and possibly meet a nice gal along the way to take home to mom and dad